*trigger warning for suicide and depression*
Our first book of the month: My Heart and Other Black Holes, is centered around probably one of the most hard-hitting topics in mental health: suicide. This topic is an ugly one, but also a very important one to discuss.
Here is a deeply personal story of my connection to this topic.
Deep breaths….
I had an Uncle in my family.. let’s call him Uncle J. This uncle, he had problems with alcohol, probably was part of his depression, but he never discussed that with anyone as far as I know. The most important part of his character for me however, was that he was always a great father for his kids. I never once saw him happier then when they were in his life, but then again a lot of things in his life hit him a bit too hard.
In the end he committed suicide. I don’t know why. I was never close enough to him to know. I don’t think even his daughters could have ever known why. But what broke my heart was his daughters reactions. They spiraled into deep depression for a while. Just looking at their faces for a moment and you could see a brokenness. It was a long long time before I ever saw them look normal again. I… I don’t truly have words for what that must have been like for them.
When something like that happens, that’s when you truly see that even though you may be one whole person, but their are more people then you could ever know in your corner and rooting for you. Suicide is nothing to romanticize. Even I have nightmares of the way things went down. So many complications, so many strings, so many awful emotions.
So when it comes to depression, if your someone who believes in giving that person time to think through everything and leaving them alone in their grief, please don’t. Even if it’s just staying in a room with someone while they are sobbing, or staying with someone when they have expressed darker thoughts, don’t leave them alone. Be the person that saves that kid of the bridge who makes a final decision in that single moment. And if ever someone comes to you asking to talk or for help of any kind don’t leave them alone, be there, sometimes something you think may be insignificant can be monumental for someone else in a darker state.
Also if you are in a darker state please call the number that is the title of the song linked above: 1-800-273-8255
Thanks for reading. I know that this got to pleading real quick, but for me all the things said here needed to be said. I have been at a point in my life where everything came crashing down and those thoughts those self-loathing encrusted thoughts flooded in. Without support from my family, without a God mom who made sure she never left me alone when I wanted to be alone in the bathroom sobbing my eyes out I don’t know where I would be.
Sign up for the Beyond The Surface book club on Goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/235823-beyond-the-surface
-Till next time!
The Book Raven 
I never knew such a book club existed. I will definitely join in! I can relate to the story. I had someone that I was close to jump from a bridge and it crushed us all. Thank you for sharing this sad story with the world! And I can only say it, too. Don’t leave people alone if you see they need a friend, even if you aren’t really close. Lives are changed in seconds.
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This book club just began this month and it is hosted by myself and Indy from https://theiridescentworldofindy.wordpress.com
I’m so sorry that something like this has happened in your life as well. No words can describe how heartbreaking an event like that is. I am so saddened that this is a reality of our world, but I think it needs to be discussed more often. I think it’s important that all mental health issues be discussed openly and with no judgements. Which is why I wanted to create this book club. I look forward to seeing what topics will be discussed in the future.
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Hey Tiana, I joined the book club! Have you already started reading the book?
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I haven’t yet, thanks to the #makemeread it a thon happening this week, but I will be starting the book as soon as it is over! I can’t wait to get to reading with everyone!
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Ooooh okay. How’s the readothon going?? I am going to go to the library and get the book as soon as possible. This is super exciting!
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Thank you so much! The readathon is going a bit slow, but I’ve been pretty busy this week. I’m still reading the first book for it Illumnae and I’m enjoying it a lot so far!
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Your welcome. 🙂 Oh yea, I knew that!
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Reblogged this on TizzyMatic.
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Thank you so much! I appreciate it!
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You’re greatly welcome.
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Thats so sad to hear that your cousins suffered through that and that their father also suffered through depression. I hope they are better now, and that they have moved out of that dark cloud. Also. Sorry that I didnt get around to reading this sooner, I didnt want what you posted to subconciously impact my own post.
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Of course! It’s all good. My experience was a hard one and I feel weird to think that whatever I felt through his passing my cousins felt infinite times more. They are doing a bit better now and I also hope they continue to feel better in the future.
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That’s really good that they’re doing better, and I really can’t imagine loosing someone so close to you, as I’ve thankfully never had to go through that.
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There can never be enough awareness about depression and suicide. I wish more people understood that those with depression need constant support and understanding! Great post. Sorry to hear about your uncle. ❤
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I was so happy to make this post even though it was about something so tragic. It felt like I was finally speaking out about something I care about deeply. Im glad that with my book club this sort of thing is something I will be discussing every month.
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Most definitely. It is something that needs to be addressed more. We shouldn’t b afraid to discuss this and those who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts shouldn’t be afraid to seek help! ❤
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Such a heavy, but important topic. Thanks for sharing your personal story. We need to reach out more to our friends and family suffering through depression.
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It’s super important to me that we all treat the ones we love and even those we don’t yet know with kindness and gentleness. Especially when you never know what someone is going through at any given moment. Raising awareness for mental illness can help us all learn that no matter who we are, we are all struggling and trying to make it through the best we can.
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Thank you so much for this post. I have struggled with suicidality for many years. It’s a constant battle, but I am very grateful for all the people out there like you who encourage me to keep going.
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Depression is something that should never define you. It is part of you for sure, but it cannot take over every aspect of your life. Sometimes when times get really hard it’s easy to forget that, but when times are like that it’s better to just remember to always treat yourself a little better. Treat yourself to your favorite meal, watch your favorite tv show, relaxing and doing whatever makes you most happy.
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