So yesterday was an overall great day. I started my Halloween playlist. Went to work, at the end blasted out Disney songs and sang along with my coworker. I even danced a bit (which I do at home more often now, but at work I try not to).
However, how good the day was, was a miracle. Before work my sister told me that through a recent blood test that my dad indeed has cancer. Even if I already suspected. Already pretty much knew. It devastated me.
My dad is 70 years old. His health hasn’t been good for a long while now and I’m afraid that because of how long everything has taken to diagnose that.. it might be too late. I hope that it isn’t, but honestly I know that the whole thing is entirely out of my hands. All I can do is pray. All I can do is try to enjoy the moments I have right now.
My dad doesn’t know yet. He won’t know until probably the next visit. I don’t think it’s going to go well. I wish this wasn’t what was happening right now.
And I can’t stop moving forward. I can’t stop working. If he passed.. I couldn’t stop working. I’m stuck. I hate thinking about these things, but I can’t ignore them. I don’t have much of a choice.
So for now, I’m just taking things one day at a time. Like I always have. It’s truly all I can do. If you can keep my family in your prayers.. or if you don’t believe send well-wishes.. thoughts.. anything really.
Recently, I’ve been really really lucky. I’ve had a lot of good people come into my life. I found the love of my life. I feel more mentally stable then I ever have. In the wake of one of the most difficult times ever I am doing ok. The road ahead is going to be really really difficult, but I am so grateful that I have such a wonderful community there for me through it all.
Thanks for reading! I wish this could have been good news. I really do. The only way to go is forward.
-Till next time!