You know what’s great? Getting up at 5:30 am and still feeling amazing! My mood has steadily gotten progressively better over the course of the past two months. At this point, I wake up and nothing brings me down.
I’d talked before about being happier then I’d ever been, but I don’t think I discussed how easily I’ve discarded every worry I have in the process. I don’t worry about much of anything anymore (except my dad, I won’t ever stop worrying about my dad). Life doesn’t sound like something to fear anymore. I am more then willing to embrace every little ounce of joy that comes into my life now. It feels amazing.
I feel that anything that life has in store is something I can handle. Recently, I’ve felt like ‘Feeling Good’ by Nina Simone it truly feels like a new Dawn, a new day, a new life.. and I want to grasp at it and dance and laugh in the light of it. I’m having trouble fighting my smile right now. In truth I think I’d been tired of living my life the way I had been. I wasn’t letting myself enjoy anything. Now, I watch movies and listen to music as much as I want to and I don’t feel guilty. I let myself have fun.
Even this blog has changed quite a bit. I was kinda unhappy with it before. I took a lot of breaks from it because of that. When I first started I wrote what I wanted every day and I didn’t have to think about it. I missed that greatly. Now, I find myself doing so again, but now in an even more authentic way because I’m being open about my love for things that aren’t just books. My Halloween posts this month have been some of my favorite posts to write that I’ve written in AGES. It makes me sad that I never discussed how deep my love for horror always was on here before.
I think what’s changing in me is that I’m becoming more willing to be authentic to myself. To who I am as a person. I have ALWAYS loved books. I ALWAYS will. I read everyday. My passion lies in writing. However stories are everywhere. I see it in art. In music. In movies and tv shows. In our memories with the people we love. I want to celebrate how stories touch our lives in those aspects too.
So this blog is to be a testament to that. To all the things that deserve celebration. To share my thoughts and my dreams. To connect with all of you who wish to celebrate in much the same way. To talk about whatever I’m feeling. I think that’s the only way I can happily root myself in my blog again. To create a space for myself to be open about anything. This months posts have been a testament to this. I’ve been having a blast.
I’m feeling amazing. Not good. Not fine. Not just ok. I’m feeling amazing! I feel like I can be true to myself in a much more authentic way lately and I don’t ever want to stop.
So thank you. All of you. For being with me on my journey. For talking books with me. For being there in the ups and downs that have come to pass these past two years. New and old I thank you. It’s been wonderful. I know it will continue to be so.
Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below!
-Till next time!