Recently, I’ve been having the time of my life. The world looks so different to me now, but it isn’t the world that’s changed it’s me. I’ve changed. Or what I should say is I’ve changed back. I am back to my roots. To who I am at the very core of myself and that’s been something really incredible.
A while back I made a post about this amazing app called Habitica. I used it religiously and it helped me stay on track. See my problem for a long time was apathy. I was stuck in my own brain thinking nothing was going to become of me. I was in a situation (still am in a situation) that wasn’t my fault, but I had no choice in it. I thought my life had always been kinda like that. A series of unfortunate events (I need to read that series). I thought it was always going to be that way. So I gave up on myself. I had my passions, but I decided not to partake in them. I was a shell of a person. I let what I couldn’t control, control me.
It took a LONG time, but I looked at myself in the mirror one day and thought to myself “Is this what you want?” A very broad searching question that recognized that at that point I was going nowhere. Just going through motions. Barely living. I hated myself. There is no better way to put it. The hate fed into itself and told me that there was no way for me to come out of it. I was drowning and I didn’t want to so the answer I gave myself was “No.” I wasn’t living my life the way I wanted to. If I was going to make something of myself, I had to take action. That decision was one of the best decisions I had never made.
As part of that change toward positive action, I downloaded Habitica. It made me accountable. I enjoyed it. I liked the little pets and the idea of my actions leveling me up and gaining more skills. It’s a fun and enjoyable app. It brought me through a hard time. It helped me figure out how to achieve all my goals for the day every day.
However, my life has changed in a new way. I no longer need to keep continuous track of every action I take during the day. I have learned what my priorities are. I have learned how to make sure my main goals are complete. In a lot of ways spending time on Habitica now takes away from my time doing the things it’s helped me to keep track of. Plus, now I have a completely different mindset. I can keep myself doing what I need to on my own. I don’t really need Habitica anymore.
I have three different writing priorities and when I get that done I do as I please. Recently I barely use habitica at all and I think now is the time to say goodbye. I am so grateful for the impact this app had on me. It helped me figure out how I wanted to take action. Now, I want to let myself go on my own for a while. Do things more comfortably. I am more in tune with myself then I have been in a long time.
It’s a big thing because it means I am now comfortable enough with myself, with what I accomplish each day, to know that it is possible to give time for everything. So much so that I don’t feel guilty if I choose to relax a little. Most days, I’m too drawn to write anyway that it happens almost on its own. Plus I have fun doing it. I have fun writing my blog posts. In every aspect of my life I am so much happier.
So for now I say goodbye, but hello to a new day. New chances to continue writing as I like. Time for enjoyment as much as hard work. Because I had forgotten that in life you can have both. You can have a chance at all you dream of. I’m letting myself take whatever paths I so choose, and you know what? I’m going to have a blast doing it!
Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.
-Till next time!