The Kind of Writer I Wish to Be

With all my heart my one wish in this world is to be a writer. A writer that tells ya stories like the many that have captured my heart and shaped me as I grew older.

Every time I see an author that writes prolifically and comes out with one even two or three novels every year I am filled to the brim with a certain envy. That is the life I want. I want to write every single day. I want to write every single one of the stories that have danced in my head since I was 14 years old. Old stories, new stories, retellings, horrors, and fantasies. I want to tell them all.

I want to be the kind of writer that drafts constantly. That breaths life into story after story allowing myself to finesse one while creating the other. I want to tell stories that have hope, but also the stories that are a bit of a tragedy. I want my characters to feel real and to walk into worlds that feel just as real.

I want to be the kind of author that doesn’t give up. The kind of author that doesn’t neglect herself or her poetry. The kind of author that doesn’t deny that swirl of different and polar opposite stories that life inside her and to never give up on any of them. An author with no particular specialty to be known for. An author whom isn’t stuck in a corner of a specific genre.

Most of all I want to be the kind of author that gives herself to Writing every day of her life. Gives herself over to it and lets it be what it’s meant to. Denying her muse nothing.

One day I hope to be that kind of writer. I hope to make it my life. It may take years and years of hard work and learning, but my journey has just begun and I’m finally realizing that I am taking steps to be on the right path.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think down in the comments.

-Till next time!

Camp Nanowrimo: I’m Participating Again!

So it’s this time of the year again where writers all over set out to write however much they want to over a months period in Camp Nanowrimo! One thing I sadly have never completely successfully… (the fact that this post initially crashed my WordPress app just as I was beginning to write this so I had to start over better not be an omen).

I have probably set out and tried to do a nano project about 10 different times… seriously over 10. The largest number of words I ever completed was 5,000 words… only 5,000… however I keep trying (why you ask? Maybe I’m just a gluten for punishment who knows?).

What is going to make this time any different from my previous attempts? For one thing I created a new Camp Nano account so that I could start everything over fresh without looking at previous failed attempts. Hopefully with nothing of the past to look at I can create a future of successes into the rest of my Nano career.

This time, I am aiming for 25,000 words so that I can ease into writing instead of bulldozering into it, like I usually would by going for 50,000. I could always write as if I’m going for the 50k, but this way if I don’t actually reach it I know I will have a very substantial amount of writing to be proud of regarding my WIP.

The current novel I am going for is a Dragon Soulmate novel featuring a healthy relationship that doesn’t have the possessiveness I usually find when I read soul mate novels (something I have grown to be very frustrated with). There isn’t really anything special about this novel other then the fact that I want to have something to read in the universe that shows a slower paced healthy relationship and since I haven’t be able to find it out in the real world I might as well be the one to write it.

Anywho, there is obviously more to my WIP then that, but for now I’m leaving it to be a mystery. I hope to stay positive and give this a serious go. Who knows maybe something amazing will come from it!

Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Are you joining Nanowrimo.

-Till next time!

About My WIP 

10 Random Things About My WIP: 

1. My work in progress has no title and probably won’t get one till after everything is finished. 

2. I was having trouble with coming up with several plot points because I didn’t know what my main characters name should be. 

3. My main character is an alien… but that’s not what the government would have you believe. 

4. DERMA the organization that are the main players in this novel stands for nothing… yet… thins acronym may never stand for anything… actually please help me figure out what this should stand for!

5. There will be covert documents written out in this book.

6. Said covert documents are so much harder to write then I thought. 

7. My main character’s name as Althea and I am so proud of the name and how she obtains it! 

8. Althea was born with blue skin. 

9. The amount of torture (that doesn’t completely  destory a person physically or mentally) I am researching makes me realize just how intense this book is going to be. 

10. There are only 2,379 words so far in this novel… I foresee this book to be quite long… I have miles to go.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think of my WIP!!! Any ideas on what DERMA should stand for and I will love you forever, because I’m stumped. 

Let me know if you would like to see more posts like this one in the future.

-Till next time!

A Personal Throwback: A Chapter from My First Book

It feels like forever ago since I finished my first book Confessions of a Teenage Writer and as proud as I am of it, I have very little hope of getting this one published. However, if your interested in reading a lot of the rest of it check it out on my old and sadly dead wattpad here.

This book is all about writing and my struggles and experiences with it. It actually wasn’t that long ago that I finished it, but now that I look back on it there are so many things I wish to change, but what never changes is the pride. I promised myself to finish the first draft of it before I got out of high school and I did and now after leaving it alone for so long, I know I have a lot of work to do to polish it. 

However, I wanted to share one of my favorite chapters because it affects me every single day…. 

Shower Ideas 

Why is it that you get your best ideas in the one place you can’t write them down? The shower. 

It is like this sickness that you can never get rid of. Every time you get under the drops of the water your mind becomes plagued with so many ideas it is ridiculous. You wish that you had a waterproof pen and paper so that you could write them all down. Especially when you know that by the time you get out of the shower the ideas turn into a big pile of forgotten dust. 
You may be able to piece together a few pieces of the puzzle from the dust, but never the full picture and that infuriates you. You feel as that no matter what those ideas are meant to slip through your mind like sand through your fingers. The more you think that you remember them the more that the ideas slip away until even the dust dissipates into nothingness. 
You wish that there could be some way to take all the ideas that come to you from the watery place that is your shower and put them in a container that will keep them forever safe so that you may not forget them. I mean technology has progressed so quickly these days that someone should have come up with a waterproof journal right?

The worst is when you are in the shower and you have been through a lot of writers block that you haven’t been able to get out of and suddenly you have a breakthrough and it just so happens to be in the one place you can’t write it down. 
Once you step out the ideas seem to vanish into thin air and you feel like cookie monster in a world were no cookies exist. 

Getting ideas in the shower is a conundrum that I know will plague me for as long as I live. I am thinking of resorting to taking baths and having a notebook at the ready for the inevitable flow of ideas that will ensue as soon as I step inside my shower. 

I can imagine how many ideas that I could write if I was in the shower 24 hours at a time. I would probably be able to start and finish an entire novel that way. I have also noticed that in the shower ideas come to you in spitfires. They are so rapid and so inspiring that I sometimes wonder how those ideas even come to my head. 
The only time I get extremely happy about these showery ideas is when I can get them to stay in my forgetful brain long enough that I get to write them down. When that happens I feel like doing a minnie victory dance. In fact, I have on occasion, done those victory dances when I am blessed with the honor of remembering an idea.

Love your shower, Write things down, and get a waterproof journal.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this post. Even this chapter of my book feels like it needs a lot of work, but still I feel a lot of love in my heart for my little book baby. Let me know your thoughts and if you have any suggestions or ideas about what to do with the book! 

*disclaimer* I’m pretty sure I made the cover with a copyright image. This cover is only temporary and I hope to have a new one made in the future. Let me know if you know of anyone who could help me with it. 

-Till next time! 

Special: A Short Story 

A smile. That was the spark of it. It was me and him alone in the hallway, I looked up took in his face, his lips lifted up and my heart skipped a beat. Than he left. I went to my locker, picked up the books I needed and headed home. 

It was all so normal. A moment that shouldn’t have crossed my mind after it was over. Yet I felt something, something warm. 

Years have past and I can tell you now that nothing came from it. Nate was a boy I had known years before that moment and he is a man that is a true friend today. I got close to him after that day. We shared jokes, studied for exams in groups, told each other secrets, and gave a little piece of hearts to one another,  but we were never romantic. My heart that had started to beat for him was broken. Nate wasn’t a man for dating, at least, not until much later. I think I fell for him a little more just because of that. He’d laugh to hear all this now, maybe I will share this story with him soon, but most likely that will never come to pass. 

In my heart he was perfect. There was never a moment where he didn’t try to make me smile. He was and still is the biggest goofball, my Nate (I say this platonically now of course).  He became attuned to me, always made sure I was doing well. We had our seperate groups of course, but we became each other’s best friends and we still are. I never told him how I felt, I knew he had a soft spot for Lydia a mutual friend, though she had eyes for Marchel who she called, “Quietly handsome” something I would agree with, though we all know who I had eyes for. 

Nate never told Lydia that he liked her, when she finally confessed to Marchel and started dating him Nate confided in me. “I never seem to luck out do I?” 

He had looked so broken then, “I am happy she found a good guy though, Marchel would never hurt her. She derserves the best, even if the best doesn’t happen to be me.” He smiled.

This time that smile broke my heart. I knew in that moment, I could never tell him how I felt. I could never say how his emotion mirrored my own. No matter my feelings, Nate deserves the best too. Somehow, I also knew, that that person was never going to be me. 

I don’t think you can ever fall out of love with someone, not really. There is always a piece of you that stays with them. I eventually dated, there was Mark, Philip, Sean, and then Robert. I never stayed with anyone for long, well, except for Philip. I thought Philip could have been the one, a year and a half in and he cheated on me. I guess I too never have much luck in love. My heart still beats a little faster to see Nate’s smile. I know now I love it because when he smiles at you, you feel special, like your the only one that matters in that moment. I’m not his special someone. I’m now a loyal friend. Maybe one day a heart will beat fast to my own smile. Maybe one day they will be special to me. Maybe I will become special to them. 

Thanks for reading! This was a Valentines Day inspired short story. I have never dated anyone (or kissed for that matter) but I have fallen before and I wanted to see that kind of story represented. This story has a little slice of cheese, but I think that’s quite alright for the season. I hope you all have a lovely February!

Let me know what you think in the comments. How do you feel about the story? Are you interested in more short stories in the future? 

-Till next time!