This blog has become very personal recently, and honestly I like it. Sharing my ups and downs and more what’s going on with me, especially when there has been a lot going on with me recently is pretty cool. Being able to remain open and honest about my anxieties, depression from events that have past, and what I’m healing mentally is really awesome! I’m very grateful to have a platform where I can be real with others.
That being said today was another nice day. It’s a day I needed. It’s also a day I think my family needed too. Myself, my mom, and my sister went to visit some relatives on my mom’s side and it was a pretty chill (also cold) and relaxing day. I may have felt tired all day, but I ate some great food, learned how to play a game called Mexican Train, and got to go on a nice walk with my niece and nephew. We were on a quest to fly a drone that just didn’t pan out, but otherwise it was a nice walk.
It feels weird, but I’m relaxing into life after a long time of feeling afraid of it. Even when I was happy about it I was afraid that the happiness would go away, but now I’m really feeling cool with whatever comes and goes and that feeling is amazing.
2018 in general has been a big year for me, but I’ve grown a lot especially mentally this year. I’m more in tune now with what I want and how I feel then I’ve ever been and I’m genuinely excited for the first time to see what 2019 brings. Before I was honestly terrified, but now I have an odd peaceful feeling about it. It feels like a year I purged a lot of emotion. Old wounds that have now mostly healed. Especially wounds that I didn’t realize I had.
As crazy as it is to say I feel like I needed to go through all the difficult things I went through this year so that I could become stronger as a person. Because I do feel stronger. Yeah, I hurt a lot this year. I dealt with a lot of general unhappiness. I also didn’t deal with certain things in the best way. But, I’m human and I’m still learning. I think no matter how old you get there is still something to learn. I’m only 20, I’m going to make a lot of mistakes in my life. I just have to make it a point to try my best.
Thanks for reading! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below.
-Till next time!
Today was surprisingly a fantastic day. I haven’t had a fantastic day like this is a long time and I had to share it with all of you.
I started my day and exercised for almost an hour. It’s this MMA style workout from Les Miles to some fantastic music that makes me sweat like nothing else. About 40 mins or so in I got kinda dizzy so I had to cut it short. I wasn’t expecting to workout so it was fun to have it happen.
Then I did some meditation that caused some weird feelings in my body out of nowhere and a lot of emotions got purged. It was one of the strangest experiences I’ve had while meditating. After, I had a nice bath and got ready for work. Then I finished writing and posted my 2019 goals post. I read some chapters from Wicked Saints and ate some food. Then I got to work.
Today would’ve been an alright pretty normal day, but I got to work register today and because of that I got to meet one of the Youtubers I’ve been watching for 5 almost 6 years and I freaked out.
Yep, that’s me with Rafi Fine from the Fine Bros. This is one of the coolest pictures I have on my phone now ever. I never meet people that I actually am super excited to meet and when he came up to buy some pretzels my brain went haywire. I’ve been watching react videos for so long and it was an honor to meet a creator whose content I have such respect for. The first thing that came out of my mouth was ‘you do YouTube’ and he nodded and we had a nice short conversation while he was ordering with his date and I admit I was a bit clumsy about the interaction and it wasn’t one of my ‘finest’ moments. His date too was really nice and was the one to offer to take the picture above to which I replied ‘I can have a picture?’ Which was something that’s cool to me, but didn’t think to ask myself because I don’t like to be a bother. All in all it was one of the coolest randomest interactions ever and I’m so stoked about it. (Also, because Rafi doesn’t show his face that much in FBE videos in my head I couldn’t place exactly what YouTube channel he was from and it drove me crazy for a while). I’m glad though that the short conversation didn’t suffer for it.
After that, I was in a state of happiness for the rest of the day and I was smiling really widely at customers for a while and managed to receive a good amount of tips thanks to that. Then at the very end my coworker gave me a belated birthday/Christmas present of two gift cards to some food places that I am very grateful for.
All in all, it was a fantastic day. It was a random day. A weird day, but a fantastic one. I felt almost blissfully happy today and I’ll take that feeling any time I can get it.
Thanks for reading! I hope you all don’t mind the double post for today. I had to share this with all of you. It was too awesome not to share.
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–Till next time!