Why I Haven’t Been Blogging

A long time ago now, when I first started blogging, I used to blog practically everyday. I read like my life depended on it and I never let myself miss days. Then life happened and I stopped for a while and I’d restart over and over and over again and it’d be ok for a while, but it wouldn’t last. I haven’t gotten myself to make it stick.

In the meantime I’ve gotten myself so far behind as far as books to read and review and posts to create that a lot of the time it feels impossible when I try to come back.

In March in particular, I started college again. I am study to be a pharmacy technician and eventually to become a full pharmacist. I need a better job and the ability to increase my income for my family. Along with the heavy class workload im still working as many hours as I was before and honestly, I’ve just felt myself get exhausted and all I’ll want to do is watch a movie or YouTube or play Fortnite with my friends at the end of the day.

I’ve gotten pretty overwhelmed with life. I want to read and write and blog too, but I can’t seem to get into the mind frame I need to continue and it breaks my heart.

However, last night, I had a particularly awful night and my dad has deteriorated further and it causes him to yell and be angry a lot of the time. I’d just finished watching ‘The Killing of a Sacred Deer’ which had already put me into a weird mindset and then I helped my sister put my dog into her harness and she bit me (it was my fault not the dogs). I felt this odd sense of going through motions and feeling the solid ground of life crumbling beneath me.

At this point I’d started to cry and I’d texted my partner all that had happened. Then, they started talking to me about this story they’d come up with a long time ago. It was about a hero who felt burdened by his power. His power that was so unique and special yet so fragile. A power that temporarily relieved ailments in a marble and the bigger the ailment the more fragile the marble. As I asked them for more details about it I felt myself calm down. Then, I’d said “You know I need a bit of that right now.” And they told me that my situation is what inspired this in the first place.

I was floored. I felt seen and loved and stunned when they told me that they’d come up with it a few months into us dating and hadn’t told me about it till now. It made me appreciate them for the person they were. It also made me want to write again. It reminded me of that feeling of discovering how a story is created bit by bit. It also made me feel that my partner is and always has been perfect for me.

My life has been in a lot of turmoil the past couple of years. I’ve had Abdiel by my side for over 2 years and they’ve given me a peace and a hope during all the crap I’ve been given for all of that time.

When I talk to them I realize that I can focus so heavily on the pain that sometimes I miss the joy that is standing right there in front of me. Abdiel who thought up a character that’d give me a short bit of relief from the life I live. That would give me a moment of joy. That is one of the purest forms of love I’ve ever felt in my life.

I want to blog again. I want to write stories again. To give others that feeling my partner gave to me in such a beautiful way. Things in life have been messy and it’s not really going to get any better. However, I can chose to give myself time for my passion and to give myself and others that temporary relief in life, because sometimes that’s all we’re really needing and searching for.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER

Check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

New Years Goals 2022

I have thought about what I wanted to do for this year for a good long time. I gave myself December to relax and feel good and prepare myself for 2022. I want to do a lot this year. In a very focused and determined way. I’m so excited.

The first thing I wanted to focus on was going back to school and become a pharmacy tech to make enough money to better support my family. At the same time after doing that working towards being a pharmacist.

In writing I wanted to focus on writing four first drafts this year. So one draft every three months. Starting with a pseudo paranormal horror that I’ve had in my brain forever. Which also means I’ll be watching some fun paranormal horror movies over the coming months to immerse myself in that mindset.

Also in writing I wanted to see if I could write a poetry book and self publish it. As of right now I’m not sure what theme it will have, but I’ll figure it out soon enough.

The last thing in writing I wanted to blog post every day. Which I feel like will actually happen this year because I’m going to have a monthly gift to myself for accomplishing my goals for each individual month.

As for reading I would like to start reading much more often and I hope to complete reading at least 50 books in 2022. To help with this I’m doing a monthly book exchange with a friend sharing our favorite books. For January I’m lending her Starfish and I can’t wait to hear what she thinks. Other then the book she’ll lend me, I will also be reading The Assignment by Liza Wiemer, Replica by Lauren Oliver, and Jack Kerouac is Dead to me by Gae Polisner. As well as two DC comics I was behind reviewing.

My other goal is exercise and it has my favorite prize attached to it if I keep it up all the way into September which is this super awesome Harley Quinn “Kill the Justice League” cosplay that I will buy and feel like a badass in should I keep my fitness goals throughout the year.

For January if I keep my goals I want to get myself this custom Red Riot Sweater. Something that I know I’ll never want to take off and that I’ll feel like I can do anything in. Which will be the perfect thing to wear over the year I want to do so much in.

This year will be about staying positive and motivated and progressing forward and embracing my life. I know that life happens and it can get difficult but I’m so ready to take on this year and do the best I possibly can.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! Let me know what your goals are for 2022!

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER

Check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

Writing A Novel For My Dad

A long time ago I talked about my dad being very sick. I haven’t mentioned it in a long time mostly dealing with it on my own, but the other night and yesterday afternoon my dad had two episodes that seemed to indicate new mini strokes. I don’t know for sure if that is exactly what it was he didn’t want to be taken to the hospital, but it reminded me all the same that my time on this earth with my dad is limited.

I don’t know how much time I have left with my dad, but I know I want to make the best of it. I know there are certain parts of my life he will never experience by my side. However, one thing I hope he does experience is me writing a book and seeing if I can get it published. My dad is a big part of why I love stories and it’s funny too because he doesn’t like books. Growing up he used to tell me all these fantastic stories.

The other love he taught me was for animals. Especially for insects and among them most importantly to have a love and respect for bees. So, I really want to write and dedicate my bee book idea to my dad.

I know my dad will most likely never read it. He’s blind in one eye and further loosing vision in the other due to his strokes. He never had much patience for reading, but I want him to know that I wrote something for him. Inspired by the love he passed down to me.

Yesterday when I got home from work he talked to me and called me his Angel. That morning he had told me to think positive. So as hard as that is for me I will try. I will put my dad energy into doing something that will make him proud. At the very least have a first draft I can print out and put into his hands. So he would know how much his love has always meant to me.

I love my dad so much. I know cancer and the strokes have changed him so much, but nothing has ever changed his love for me. Even when he’s mad at my mom or wanting someone or something to blame for his illness when I come into the room he still treats me like his little girl.

I know my dad wants me always to remain strong. To always think positive no matter what and to pursue my dreams. So that’s exactly what I’ll do for the rest of my life. During my time on earth with him and during the time he passes on and I will carry him living inside my heart forever more.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Writing this brought me to tears, but it also helped me feel a sense of resolve. My one wish is that this post inspires those reading to be there for their loved ones now and to think positive. Thank you all for being here.

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER

Check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

Goals For September 2020

Sometimes it’s much easier to start new habits at the beginning of the month. It gives you a chance to set your intentions and to not make excuses and just go for what you want. This month I want to write. I want to read everyday. I want to wake up early and stay up so I can commit to everything I want to get done.

One of the biggest fuels to my anxiety has been trying over and over to recommit to my blog and not sticking to my commitment. Well, this month that all changes. I am ready.

This month my very first goal is to write a blog post everyday. I’ve been able to blog more and more frequently and I have plenty of posts ideas to get me started. There are also three different DC Comic Releases this month that I will be reading and reviewing that I am very excited about Whistle, Unearthed, and Beast Boy Loves Raven.

The other thing I’m actually going to do and stop stressing about is exercise. I’m going to watch some shuffle dance videos since at the moment I am very much focusing on treating my wrists and that’ll be a stress free way of allowing my body to heal and still keeping active. As well as the 100 squats / 100 sit-ups daily challenge.

Another thing I wanted to do is revisit writing in my write this story book and make that my routine for before I start my novel writing for the day: 10 to 20 minutes of writing a short story and then going into writing / researching my novel. I want to spend at least 30 minutes a day focused on writing my ‘bee girl’ novel.

My focus towards learning will be Duolingo and Khan Academy. I’ve been really wanting to take a chemistry class since I never took one in high school and so I’ll be taking one on khan academy doing a little lesson everyday.

When it comes to reading I know at the very minimum I am going to finish reading Spinning Silver no matter what.

I have been so close to done for a long while now. If I do things right I may even finish it today and write my review for tomorrow. However, that remains to be seen.

As far as games, I am committed to Fortnite right now. I’ve played pretty much daily and I’ve unlocked all the skins from season 7 (only thing left is literally 15 alien artifacts). Season 8 is very close now and I will be happy to do my routine to unlock all the skins all over again.

At the end of the month my goal is to feel proud. To feel like yes I did and enjoyed so much this month. That I enjoyed reading and I enjoyed writing and I spent quality time with my family and enjoyed times with my friends too and with my lovely boyfriend. With my hours at work now more manageable to give my wrists a chance to heal I want to heal some of the mental issues that have been plaguing me as well as feel more then my fair share of joy this month. I’ve spent too long in the opposite feeling.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my INSTAGRAM and TWITTER

Check out THE SISTERS OF TWILIGHT WEBSITE.

If you would like to support me directly here’s a link to BUY ME A KOFI! 

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center

Experiment: Is it Possible for me to Post Everyday?

I have tried this experiment without directly saying I was doing this experiment on several occasions before and pretty recently too. Ultimately exhaustion and emotional turmoil in my personal life have been what kept me away from being able to actually post on a daily basis.

I keep trying because I’m curious about two things. 1. What would my stat growth look like posting daily for a year? And 2. What kinds of things would end up happening and becoming available for me to do in life after deciding to post on a daily basis?

Blogging in general has opened so many doors for me in my life. I have gained so many opportunities and friendships and had conversations with authors directly in a way I never would have had otherwise. Blogging is an amazing experience.

I remember how wide eyed and excited I was when I first started blogging. Getting my first few followers and deciding I wanted to do this all the time and joining Netgalley and doing so many tags and completely enjoying the experience.

What I didn’t expect was eventually life itself would have me take a step back to the point that I had forgotten what it was to enjoy this part of my life. The insatiable reader who kept going at it and loving stories and wanting so badly to give birth to a story of her own.

I have missed this. So here I am. I am back. I have a new plan. I might write the posts daily and I might write extras on my days off. Whatever the case I’ll have a consistent daily upload time. 1 pm everyday. It feels like a good idea to me to be able to schedule my posts and it be consistent. I’m so used to doing it whenever I finish writing a post.

Also I’ll be taking my stats from before this starts and at the end of the year to see the change and how much I’ve grown and who knows maybe this will be a thing for years to come?

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Finishing A First Draft Before the End of the Year

This is my declaration that I will write the first draft of a novel before the end of the year. I have the idea and I have a bit of fun research to do before writing certain elements of the novel, but the bare bones are there.

The best part is that I’m giving myself enough time to write in bite sized pieces and not stress myself out trying to get it done too quickly. All I need is a bit over 300 words everyday and I’ll have a draft done by the end of the year. I’m certain some days I’ll write a good bit more then that and others I’ll give myself a break to do other things, but I have a plan!

The book I will be writing will be a magical realism about a girl with a unique connection to bees. So studying about bee life will be important to the story.

One of these days I think I’m going to sit down and draw this girl in the image I had of her that sparked the idea for this story. I’ve always adored magical realism and to write something so unique and ethereal like this is going to be a blast!

Everyday, at the bottom of my blog post I’ll update how much I wrote towards this novel the previous day and the total word count along with it. It’ll be good to keep track and also to keep accountable over the course of me writing this.

For now I’m excited! I can’t wait to get started on this novel!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Writing A New Book from Scratch

When I decided it was time for me to write again, I was looking at some of my old ideas and there are many and I couldn’t bring myself to write any of them. I felt too far detached from what I originally wanted those stories to become and I didn’t feel a pull towards any of them. So, I decided it was time for something completely different to begin.

At first, I felt I was at a loss. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to write about, but then I was taking a shower and relaxing and *boom* brand new baby idea in the form of this gorgeous artwork image in my head.

This was something I could work with. I was intrigued by this image. Who was the person in this mental image? How did they connect to others and how did others perceive them? A lot of the most basic of questions. Not even a plot so much as an idea of a person I wanted to write about.

Finally, I was excited! I have this little seed of an idea and I’m watering and nurturing it little by little. Right now it is still an idea. So much about it to be explored and it can become anything! I am not yet ready to start drafting just pondering it and writing little things about it as things come to my mind.

It feels right. It feels exciting and new and like coming home, but also honoring that I am like a brand new writer now since it has been so long. So here I am at this new beginning. The place all books begin. Beginning like I’ve never done so before and I plan on giving every single moment of the journey my all.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

Inspiration from Old Places

Randomly I was having a conversation with my boyfriend and Wattpad came up. It was a site I used to read so many books on, but also it is the place where I wrote my first ever book. It is short and bite sized and it is called “Confessions of a Teenage Writer”

I wrote this while hoping to finish at least one other draft of a novel. Yet, this became the first thing I ever finished and I’ve only finished one other draft of something since.

Looking back and reading the comments on this book made me want to sob. I hadn’t really looked at this book or anything on Wattpad since 2016. Yet, when I wrote it I realized I had effected others. I had accomplished what I had wanted to do so badly and so early on.

People had connected with my work. They had thought it beautiful. They’d encouraged me to keep writing, but in their eyes I already was a writer. The titles I have not thought I could claim for myself in recent years, but I am both writer and author. Again I feel the tears come.

Lately, I have been able to start the process of writing again. Currently, my project is in the idea phase. I truly don’t know much about it and it’s come in bits and pieces. Lately, everything in my life has felt like a gentle stream nudging me back to the passion I have had for so many years, to write.

For a single day at my work there was a young girl that came and of all things she wanted to be a writer. She worked for a day only. Yet, listening to her. Hearing how she hadn’t finished anything because she had all these ideas in her head and couldn’t commit to one I felt so inspired and nostalgic for who I was when I first began writing. It felt electrifying to remember and to understand that this was me coming back home to myself.

It’s felt like the universe has been telling me it’s ok. It’s ok that I needed the time I did, but the time is right now. It’ll be ok.

For now, my toes feel like they are dipping in this water. Preparing for the way I will wish to go. Where I will begin.

So, I have begun here. Waking up at 5:30 in the morning to write blog posts. I’ve started reading again. Started to think about an idea and build it out. All these things will soon build out and eventually I will be flowing in this gentle river until I make small stops on my journey when I finish the first draft, when I’m editing, when I’m hoping to see if there’s a home in publishing for my story, and again starting a whole new idea.

I am here. I am ready. I am inspired and hopeful. The best yet I am smiling. I appreciate so much the younger version of me who went for writing so head on and with such passion. Who read books every single day and couldn’t imagine she’d breath well in a day without at least ingesting a single chapter. Turns out for the most part it became true. I haven’t been able to come back to myself for so long. Now is the time. I want to shout that. Now is the time!

This feels so wonderful.

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources:

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

A Productive November

November is going to be an incredibly productive month for me. Not just because I will be going back to work, but also because I will be participating in Nanowrimo!

Goals for the month of November:

Write the two reviews I’m behind on: I still need to review Wilder Girls and The Stranger. Two books I have polar opposite feelings on, but I should get that done first thing this month so that should go well.

Draft 50,000 words for Nanowrimo!: I’m doing a Christmas fantasy project just for the fun of it. It’s an expansion on a short story I wrote for Christmas a previous year and I wanted to make an adorable Christmas book full of joy.

Continuing Chole Ting’s 2018 Summer Shred: I am on day 11 of this challenge and it’s the best I’ve done during one of her workout series so far and I’m hoping to keep the momentum going!

Get to level 220 on Fortnite! So I just got fortnite back and I’m on level 75. I’m hoping that by the end of the season I can get to the level 220 mark for the sake of holo marvel skins. Which means I have to gain about 5 levels a day from here on out. Which will prove to be challenging. Especially considering all else I want to do, but if I do complete this I will honestly feel like a damn goddess.

Make some dessert or food for thanksgiving. I want to make something nice as a part of Thanksgiving this year. I don’t know what that will be just yet, but I have some time to think about it.

Read some books! At the moment my tbr is looking like: Burn Our Bodies Down, The Miseducation of Cameron Post, and Crazy House. We’ll see at the end of the month if I pick up anything else!

That’s all for my goals for this month! What are some of yours?

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Places to donate to Trans communities:

Trans Equality 

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The Trevor Project

Transgender Law Center 

Some BLM resources: 

Link to bail funds to donate to!

Link to petitions to sign! 

Link to a video to watch if you can’t donate!

My friend started Live Streaming so check them out HERE!! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

If you love my content and wish to offer me extra support by me a Kofi on my donation page!

The Ebony and Fire Writing Club: What Projects are you Working on?

Hello everyone! Welcome back to The Ebony and Fire Writing Club! Phoenix wrote up this amazing post that you all should check out on her writing projects here! For those of you who don’t know me and Phoenix have joined together to bring you a fun writing club to inspire you all on your individual writing journeys!

Also check out our club page here to check out all our posts and notices on what’s to come!

If your interested in joining leave your name below and a little bit about your current project!

I’m so excited because today I’m going to be talking about my project a little bit more and adding a little bit of my favorite advice I take as I move forward in my own writing adventure.

My Current Writing Project

At the moment I’m working on a young adult paranormal romance horror. It’s about two girls who meet and go into the woods and realize that the dangers one of them has known since childhood may not be as false as she once thought. Through it the pair starts to fall for each other and must navigate the sweet feelings they are coming into along with the dangers of a dark evil that’s brewing in the forest.

At the moment I’m in the drafting stage and I have 3,003 words written. I’m doing my best to start a daily system that works and at the moment I’m brewing with inspiration about it!

In the next week I hope to write 500 words a day toward this novel and I will update everyone on June 1st if I’ve succeeded in my goals for the following week!

A Favorite Piece of Writing Advice

For all you aspiring authors out there I got to say this instead of aspiring to be the next Stephan King, Anne Rice, Sarah J. Maas, or J.K. Rowling, aspire to be the first you! All those stories that have become so dear to our hearts started well before any of these authors made a name for themselves. They start in your heart poured out into the page word by word and letter by letter. Write what fills your heart with passion and never stop! The rest will fall into place. Never give up!

What are you working on?

I would love to hear all about the amazing things you all are working on. What are you writing about?

Also if you have any questions about the club or if you are looking for support, advice, or tips feel free to contact me or Pheonix.

Pheonix’s Contact page

My Contact Page

We’ll get back to you as soon as we can!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! Let me know your thoughts down in the comments below! 

Check out my Instagram and Twitter

Check out The Book Raven Poetry website

Checkout The Book Raven Poetry Instagramand Twitter

Check out the Sisters of Twilight website.

If you love my content and wish to offer me extra support by me a Kofi on my donation page!